Leader of the pack

Tonight, as yet another double-agent was outed, overzealously hovering over my shoulder to glean sensitive information, I suddenly felt empowered. It occurred to me, for the first time, that I am more popular than anybody else I personally know or have EVER known. These sick people put so much effort into controlling every facet of my life, never realizing that it is I who pull their strings.

Over the years, so many have sought to infiltrate my personal life, studying me, manipulating me, patting themselves on the back when they get a juicy tidbit, hanging on my every word, trying to find out what makes me tick.

Others have passed the years hellbent on sabotaging everything I do; lurking in the shadows or the ether of the internet, eagerly awaiting any opportunity to do me harm.

Teams of operatives sit in vans, monitoring my network traffic, operating stingray devices and energy weapons and descend on my property, within minutes of my departure, in order to gaslight, poison and drug me, gather personal information and install and maintain malware, rogue network devices, sonic weapons and bugs.

Others still, have spent countless hours following me, opening my mail, intercepting my calls and texts, reading my emails, posts and instant messages, even DIGGING THROUGH MY TRASH!

Scientists study my physiology and my mind and strategically craft subliminal messages and other custom-designed “mind control” signals, just for me.

Based on online and literary accounts, I know there are likely people who have moved in nearby, just to keep tabs on me and offer their support in sinister schemes which require a proximal agent.

I can’t begin to fathom how much time, money and effort has gone into dominating my life, how many people are tasked with doing these dirty deeds. Many have made a career out of carrying them out and a handful, throughout the years, like tonight’s usurper, are always on the clock – until they are discovered, their entire lives revolve around mine.

Who is REALLY in control in such an arrangement? I am. Sure, I unwittingly feed these agents information which can be used against me but I do so in the course of living my own, authentic life. I am free to make my own decisions and form relationships with whomever I choose, while they are bound to someone who they clearly do not hold in high regard, day in and day out. They sacrifice any prospect of a leading a normal life and in the most intimate cases, any hope of holding authentic and meaningful relationships, in order to do this. They live in my shadow, abandoning their sense of self and free will.  My words, thoughts and actions dictate the very course of their lives. Now THAT is power.

Throughout my struggles, I’ve always regarded myself as a target, not a victim. A victim is helpless and has no control over their circumstances. Eventually, I’ve found a way around nearly everything they’ve thrown at me and it is always very gratifying. I’ve cultivated an abundance of skills and learned things about technology, security and societal structure, of which I would have otherwise remained forever ignorant. I’ve grown. These poor souls (assuming they have any) are the victims of this program and of their own choice to participate. I can’t imagine a more hopeless existence. There is no ascendancy in surrender and from what I’ve seen, there is no going back.

In my youth, I sought the attention of my teachers and my peers. I was semi-successful, due to intelligence and good looks but my eccentricity was somewhat marginalizing. I never reached the height of popularity. Now, I am the unchallenged ruler of an army of assholes. Sure it’s a pathetic crowd but nobody could ever hope for a more captive and devoted audience.

2 thoughts on “Leader of the pack

  1. Victim has been redefined – don’t accept it. It only means one who was done wrong. People around you can be turned away from you; seems some willingly others unknowingly. Organized crime does blacklist people from working. Some of us were gaslighted before your “awareness”. Hope you have support.

    1. I’m not quite sure what you mean. Yes, we are victims in a literal sense but there is no empowerment in embracing a “victim mentality”. I’ve been targeted for 11 years now and I know I was a lot less happy when I focused on how I was being wronged and how I couldn’t enjoy the same liberties as everyone else and hated my victimizers for it. Now I appreciate all that I’ve learned through my hardship, which I’d never have known otherwise and focus on what I’ve gained from the experience.

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